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Post by MrTiddles on Apr 22, 2024 17:30:06 GMT
Crank is playing Roblox atm. No doubt he will blame it on his progeny.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 17:36:46 GMT
An inventor organises a meeting with a large technology firm to demonstrate his latest creation in the hopes of getting it onto the market.
Alone in a room with the CEO, he says to her, "I'd like you to meet Servobot 1999," and gestures to the door.
A boxy, roughly humanoid-shaped contraption wobbles into the room on clunky actuated legs. It has a big monitor for a face on which some poorly scribbled features have been defined.
The CEO looks disappointed. "What does it do?" She asks.
"Anything and everything," the scientist replies, excited. "Servobot," he says to the robot, "Organise the CEOs filing cabinet."
"YES, DADDY." Servobot replies and immediately sets to work organising a cabinet in the corner.
His arms move so fast the CEO can't even see them. In a matter of moments the clutter has vanished and every file is alphabetised and colour-coded.
"Amazing!" Says the CEO.
"You haven't seen the half of it," replies the inventor. "Servobot, using whatever is available in this room, make the CEO a meal."
"YES, DADDY," Servobot replies and in the blink of an eye, Servobot is strategically flitting from one corner to the next, trimming cut-offs from plants, shaving leather off books, picking things out of the carpet. Once he's collected a handful of garbage, an opening reveals itself in his chests and he places the garbage inside. Dazzling light illuminates every corner of the room and Servobot starts whirring loudly as he states, "COMMENCING RECONSTITUTION OF ATOMIC STRUCTURES. LOADING. LOADING. BON APETITE."
As if by magic the garbage has disappeared. In its place is a perfectly cooked and succulent-looking roast chicken.
"Try it," Says the inventor.
The CEO does and it's the most delicious meat she's ever experienced. "Absolutely incredible. But I have to ask, why does it call you 'Daddy'?"
"Ah. That." Says the inventor. "Well, obviously Servobot 1999 is a leap in technology the likes of which has never been seen. It is a process that has taken me decades."
As the inventor is speaking, Servobot turns away from the CEO and presents to her his metallic behind. "SPANK ME, MOMMY," it says to the CEO
The inventor continues, apologetically. "But there are still some kinks to work out."
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Post by crankcaller on Apr 22, 2024 18:08:43 GMT
Crank is playing Roblox atm. No doubt he will blame it on his progeny. I can't get enough of Barretté's Dance Studio. It's the new GTA. Full of annoying pre-teens shit talking. |
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 19:20:08 GMT
I have been watching the first Avengers film. The prison sphere on the flying base designed for Hulk would be a pretty awful way to die if a normal person was put in there and dropped. You would be rattled around with various bones broken and no doubt vomiting, urinating and defecating everywhere. You would then constantly be thrown around said cocktail of body goo before exploding and liquidising upon ground impact to add to the human soup. Then you would roll about like a miserable snow globe. Heart attack would probably get you before impact. Yeah maybe for you, you dweeb. I lift weights and drink beer. |
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Post by MrTiddles on Apr 22, 2024 19:34:34 GMT
Eh?
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Post by Sheep2 on Apr 22, 2024 19:56:36 GMT
Aimingfkr a stroke rather than a heart attack I expect.
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Post by Tuffers on Apr 22, 2024 20:10:45 GMT
Heart attack would probably get you before impact. Yeah maybe for you, you dweeb. I sniff the seats in public toilets to get aroused and drink from the bowl once I've finished. Bit weird, but each to their own. Live and live I say. |
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 20:21:12 GMT
I'm about to post a joke, and it's going to be a corker.
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Post by Felice Landry on Apr 22, 2024 20:28:06 GMT
I'm about to post a joke, and it's going to be a corker. I thought you were only allowed one a day? |
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Post by Tuffers on Apr 22, 2024 20:34:19 GMT
I'm about to post a joke, and it's going to be a corker. I thought you were only allowed one a day? He's gone feral. It's times like these we need a moderator. |
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Post by Moderator1 on Apr 22, 2024 20:43:00 GMT
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Post by Tuffers on Apr 22, 2024 20:50:23 GMT
Sure everyone has seen it, but Darkman is on Film 4+1 at 10pm. A top fillum, imo. 4*
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 20:51:50 GMT
What did the lesbian vampire say to the lesbian?
See you next month.
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Post by MrTiddles on Apr 22, 2024 20:52:49 GMT
Right lads, let's get BabyF.
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Post by MrTiddles on Apr 22, 2024 21:01:34 GMT
I'm watching Darkman.
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Post by RollingEscargot on Apr 22, 2024 21:10:19 GMT
I'm watching Rings of Power. It's quite camp.
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Post by Felice Landry on Apr 22, 2024 21:12:14 GMT
I'm watching "Out of Town" with Jack Hargreaves.
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Post by Faceless on Apr 22, 2024 21:26:13 GMT
I'm watching Fallout. I doubt any of you have heard of it
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Post by RollingEscargot on Apr 22, 2024 21:29:30 GMT
The guy playing Elrond is sensationally annoying. I'm hoping Thorin turns up soon to cleave his skull before sitting down and singing about gold.
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Post by MrTiddles on Apr 22, 2024 21:38:29 GMT
I started watching "On the waterfront" last night, never seen it before - looked good.
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Post by RollingEscargot on Apr 22, 2024 21:41:17 GMT
I want the orcs to win this. Come on lads.
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Post by Destry on Apr 22, 2024 21:56:42 GMT
I want the orcs to win this. Come on lads. They did. 4-3. Though the Orc's third was offside. Dirty Orc Bastards. |
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Post by RollingEscargot on Apr 22, 2024 22:05:40 GMT
I want the orcs to win this. Come on lads. They did. 4-3. Though the Orc's third was offside. Dirty Orc Bastards. I started a monthly Sky Sports contract recently to watch a few Big Matches, and what I've noticed is that L***s are on it every week, if not twice a week. It's basically L***s and Liverpool club TV. |
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