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Post by RollingEscargot on Jan 10, 2024 15:21:25 GMT
Hi. Games? No.
Telly? Not really.
Ottm: I broke the flush mechanism on my toilet today with an over-vigorous press of the button. It doesn't look that complicated to replace but now I have to decide whether to pay a plumber 100 quid to come and fix it, or attempt to sort it myself and risk flooding the entire house.
OOttm: I've been growing a beard for the last month but it's not working out. Great under-chin and moustache coverage, but weak on the lower lip. Unfortunately, I think it's undermining rather than enhancing my already meagre gravitas levels. Why is my life so hard?
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Jan 10, 2024 15:26:50 GMT
Hi. Games? No.
Telly? Not really.
Ottm: I broke the flush mechanism on my toilet today with an over-vigorous press of the button. It doesn't look that complicated to replace but now I have to decide whether to pay a plumber 100 quid to come and fix it, or attempt to sort it myself and risk flooding the entire house.
OOttm: I've been growing a beard for the last month but it's not working out. Great under-chin and moustache coverage, but weak on the lower lip. Unfortunately, I think it's undermining rather than enhancing my already meagre gravitas levels. Why is my life so hard?
Standard Chatterboxer policy is to pay the inflated tradesperson price. Awkward conversation optional. |
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Post by dakylosaurus419 on Jan 10, 2024 15:39:57 GMT
You'll need to spend the night before memorising your script should they enquire 'see the match mate?'
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Post by amipal on Jan 10, 2024 15:55:16 GMT
Hi. Games? No.
Telly? Not really.
Ottm: I broke the flush mechanism on my toilet today with an over-vigorous press of the button. It doesn't look that complicated to replace but now I have to decide whether to pay a plumber 100 quid to come and fix it, or attempt to sort it myself and risk flooding the entire house.
OOttm: I've been growing a beard for the last month but it's not working out. Great under-chin and moustache coverage, but weak on the lower lip. Unfortunately, I think it's undermining rather than enhancing my already meagre gravitas levels. Why is my life so hard?
What’s worse - accidentally flooding the house, or having said-tradesperson fix the bodge you dun rong? |
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Post by lazybones on Jan 10, 2024 16:00:08 GMT
I found my Internet under siege from Clickbait about Rod Stewart. I clicked on it.
The truth will shock you …
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Post by Sheep2 on Jan 10, 2024 16:02:17 GMT
Depends on the mechanism. If it has just come unhooked it's very easy to fix. If it is more complicated than that you need a plumber.
The alternative is to use a bucket rather than the cistern for flushing.
Go full Lazybones with the beard. The grizzled look is very much in these days.
If you can't get a full beard some hipster concoction of waxed tache and sideburns will have the desired result
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Post by dakylosaurus419 on Jan 10, 2024 16:02:20 GMT
No Rod Hull content?
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Post by RollingEscargot on Jan 10, 2024 16:06:04 GMT
Rod Hull is an object lesson in why you should always get tradesmen in to sort out your DIY problems.
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Post by Shenguin on Jan 10, 2024 16:18:30 GMT
The dishwasher I fixed last week is leaking.
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Post by lazybones on Jan 10, 2024 16:28:45 GMT
It turns out Rod Stewart revealed how to make £2 million in under two months in a soon-to-be-deleted interview with Graham Norton
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Post by Tuffers on Jan 10, 2024 16:35:50 GMT
Matt Le Tissier is basically Fox Mulder now. The COVID truth is out there. I look forward to the ITV Drama in about 15 years time: Mr Le Tissier vs The WEF. Obviously, the main characters will have to be played unvaccinated actors as all the vaccinated mutants with alien DNA will be dead based on current rates (do your own research). And, following an online petition reaching 1,000,000 signatures, Chris Witty will have to hand back his knighthood, which will be instead be presented to Sir Matt at Buckingham Palace by Lord Icke. FACTS. |
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Post by RollingEscargot on Jan 10, 2024 16:41:27 GMT
Some of Le Tissier's statements are pretty crazy:
- 9/11 was faked - Covid was faked - communists are secretly taking over the planet - the Bucha massacre was faked - Southampton are going to catch Ipswich in the Championship
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Post by gongfarmer on Jan 10, 2024 16:58:08 GMT
I'm also waiting a callback from a tradesperson.
Stitching on the seat of our sofa has parted, so we need a home visit from someone skilled with needles. If i had a bash at it there would result a Gordian knot, and probably much cursing.
Luckily for me it's on the PMs end of the sofa, so she can't make comments about my fat arse being the cause, and a bonus might be that she might finally back me up when I bellow at the Grandkids that IT'S NOT A FUCKING TRAMPOLINE when they decide to bounce all over the damn thing.
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Post by Faceless on Jan 10, 2024 17:02:51 GMT
What made me laugh is le Tissier describing his time working for sky sports as "loyal service", rather than 'paid employment'
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Post by lazybones on Jan 10, 2024 17:06:45 GMT
I am wondering if the man who came round to look at our leak came round specifically to give me the Seventh Day Adventist book. He was only here for five minutes and did say pretty much everything he’d said to me on the phone a couple of weeks ago.
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Post by crankcaller on Jan 10, 2024 17:13:22 GMT
Did you ask if praying would fix the leak?
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Post by Sheep2 on Jan 10, 2024 17:19:42 GMT
Praying won't help you,
Crying won't do you no good.
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Post by Felice Landry on Jan 10, 2024 17:25:38 GMT
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Post by Tuffers on Jan 10, 2024 17:29:47 GMT
SPAG BOL
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Post by RollingEscargot on Jan 10, 2024 17:47:28 GMT
I see that the 'Great Controversy' in question is between Christ and Satan. I hope the author takes a balanaced approach to the issues.
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Post by whatalark on Jan 10, 2024 18:50:44 GMT
The dishwasher I fixed last week is leaking. That's what you get for asking the person who does the fries to look at the dishwasher. |
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Post by gongfarmer on Jan 10, 2024 18:53:51 GMT
Home cooked burger chips n fried onions. Lashings of mustard. Beer.
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Post by lazybones on Jan 10, 2024 19:05:16 GMT
I think I’m going to have brown rice with spinach, tomato and some sort of bean. I want something healthy. I’ve got a five-day headache. My shoulders and neck are tense. I can’t sleep.
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Post by MrTiddles on Jan 10, 2024 19:27:51 GMT
Praying won't help you, Crying won't do you no good. Sheep knows Led Zeppelin lyrics?
*passes out*
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Post by Sheep2 on Jan 10, 2024 19:56:00 GMT
Praying won't help you, Crying won't do you no good. Sheep knows Led Zeppelin lyrics?
*passes out*
It's a misquote. Crying and praying ought to be the other way round, (gniyrc and gniyarp) but I wanted to echo Crank's post so put praying first. I quite like Led Zeppelin, yes, but they haven't released much recently. When The Levee Breaks is a fantastic song. I regularly listen to it when it rains heavily. |
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