Chatterbox Thursday

Miaow !

Considering where I stay I'm lucky it's not a junkie.

Here's your budget option. Think how extravagant you could make your cheese sandwiches with the savings.

I knew this wouldn't end well. Nobody tells me anything.

I did exactly the same thing in my only other game and it ended up alright

Jealous?

It's your own fault for giving your Netflix password to a pine marten.

This is why you shouldn’t use something that’s weasely guessed.

This is probably the third time I've ever managed to kill someone with the hunting rifle in Fortnite…

On the map, press "up" on the d-pad to save-game. (PS4)

Noobox - Spring '01; Austria makes a bid for World Peace
_{Russia, Germany invade Austria, Italian armies retrain as ice cream salesmen}

Empress Tenthen the First is reported to be arranging the execution of her advisors, whilst King Crankie is enjoying the sea breezes on his steam yacht "Just one cornetto" in the Ionian Sea

That move can be called an unmitigated disaster for you tenthenemy; the only thing Austria can never do in Spring 1901 is nothing.  Your only hope of survival rests entirely on trusting Shen/Turkey and the ice cream salesman AND ordering your goddamned units in a coherent plan. If you have trouble deciding what, talk to me via message in here.

Depending on your negotiations, unless you're certain that you can trust Rolling's Russia (now I've stated that explicitly you'll realise what a laughable idea that is) you should ALWAYS move an Army to Galicia in Spring 1901...  This move 

Which brings me onto the repeat offender, the one piece moves specialist.  Come on Crankie, you MUST know that Army Rome can do fuck all where it is!  So, once again, talk to me via message here.  Order all your units this Autumn ffs

mlu035rsc that was an opening set of moves which were at least a set of moves, but that move to Holland is rarely used, because it means England can now move uncontested into Denmark... basically cutting you off from Scandinavian centres, AND as with Russia/Austria over Galicia so France/Germany over Burgundy - you may have been conned though.  The move to Silesia is weak; if you were going to piss off Russia then: F Kie-Den (ffs man, the clue is it's surrounded by sea spaces).  You could've then moved to Sweden to bounce the Snail out of Sweden AND not given it to England.  In Holland the fleet can't move inland.  Sitting on Munich is like sitting on the toilet when the in-laws come round - you're better off doing summat with it.  The blindingly obvious move is to Burgundy.

Rolling: Did you really think Shen wouldn't move to the Black?  Tch tch...  9/10 Turkey makes that move; now you've got the shitty 50/50 guess over Sev/Rum.

Shen: Nice one.

Bloggie: Lucky bastard or top diploming with Felice/mlu...

Felice: I've left you until last because it's a double of 'France/Germany over Burgundy' - England/France over the Channel.  I can't tell you how rare it is as France to have neither move to those touchy spaces; like all of the / potential conflicts I've mentioned above, the reason they're sensitive is that they border so many spaces, particularly both parties' home centres - the only places you can build new units ...

The main potential weakness in your moves comes from not thinking "what if they all succeed?"  You can force Belgium, but taking both Iberian centres is better because it takes units in there so long to get back to useful areas, so best to get both in '01.  If I trusted England I'd give up on Belgium and move Bre-MAO (then Por); Par-Gas (to pick up Spa, or cover Bre if England moves to ENC) Mar-Bur (if both Germany and England have tried to 'touch' you then the Army still in Mar moves to Spain and the one in Gascony moves to Brest to stop the filthy English tars in the Channel getting their hands on it.

I'm knackered - 3 hours; if you noobs don't put some effort in I'm going to be pretty ferocious with my eyebrow waggling and eyeball rolling.  (oh BUGGER dear, now I have to try and proof that lot)