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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Jul 2, 2020 13:07:40 GMT
I combine the Match and Index functions in my sleep.
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Post by Melvazord on Jul 2, 2020 13:07:40 GMT
Also Melvazord returned just after the police broke into encrochat. Coincidence? Big of you to assume the type of crime I'm involved with is in any way organised. If you had said "Also Melvazord returned just after two tramps were arrested for pan handling when their lookout dropped his tin can on a string" it would have been 100% more accurate. |
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Post by crankcaller on Jul 2, 2020 13:17:17 GMT
Think I've said before.
We've a customer who uses excel for EVERYTHING.
Need a birthday card? Best knock it up in excel.
Poster for the close about locking the door? Excel
Letter to the Inland revenue...
Drives me mad. I actually think it's why he still does it.
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Post by Sheep2 on Jul 2, 2020 13:22:19 GMT
Also Melvazord returned just after the police broke into encrochat. Coincidence? Big of you to assume the type of crime I'm involved with is in any way organised. If you had said "Also Melvazord returned just after two tramps were arrested for pan handling when their lookout dropped his tin can on a string" it would have been 100% more accurate. I got back from lunch to find our remote IT people had captured my laptop. Best they had rebooted it in safe mode which disables the wi-fi so they couldn't do anything and I couldn't use it. A score draw. |
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Post by Sheep2 on Jul 2, 2020 13:23:58 GMT
Think I've said before. We've a customer who uses excel for EVERYTHING. Need a birthday card? Best knock it up in excel. Poster for the close about locking the door? Excel Letter to the Inland revenue... Drives me mad. I actually think it's why he still does it. EdibleVisions used to read the chatterbox in Excel He created a macro which looked it up. This was so he did not have to have IE open which his boss would notice. |
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Post by Sheep2 on Jul 2, 2020 13:26:03 GMT
Unfortunately I now have control of my computer again. I could now do some work.
In fact I have too much work to do.
Enough so I can play one person against another for a while and not do any work.
I don't think anyone will notice until Wednesday.
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Post by Melvazord on Jul 2, 2020 13:40:14 GMT
Yesterday was technically the first day I could go back on site after 3 months locked at home for my own safety*
I certainly did not go back on site. I will be worving*** form home until they drag me back kicking and screaming.
Tomorrow we find out if Mrs Zord is going to be made redundant. Fun times. Theres a guy on her team who has not been de-furloughed because he is shit at his job**, so I'm fairly sure she is safe.
I think it's safe to say things are swings and roundabouts right now.
*society's safety
**no, we do not work together.
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Post by RollingEscargot on Jul 2, 2020 13:42:11 GMT
Chumbles's kitchen looks alarmingly like my father-in-law's. ChumblesAre you my father-in-law? |
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Post by Sheep2 on Jul 2, 2020 13:47:39 GMT
www.theguardian.com/science/2020/jul/01/end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-fans-of-apocalyptic-filmsI really like end of world films. This is like all my dreams coming together at once, but in a slightly boring way. What I mean is I think we need another major disaster. Pandemic swine flu or runaway global warming or a major race war. Something to produce exciting news reports and pictures of things on fire in the background. Ideally no closer than 3-4 miles away. Maybe a supervolcano? A Tsunami? Nuclear war? I'm pretty easily pleased on the disaster front.
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Post by scubar on Jul 2, 2020 14:05:04 GMT
Think I've said before. We've a customer who uses excel for EVERYTHING. Need a birthday card? Best knock it up in excel. Poster for the close about locking the door? Excel Letter to the Inland revenue... Drives me mad. I actually think it's why he still does it. I knew someone who used to write business letters in excel, had formulas and macros and everything. I was quietly impressed. |
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Post by Tuffers on Jul 2, 2020 14:20:18 GMT
Top 5 inventions:
1.Beer
2.Excel
3.Lamb chops
4.Cricket
5.Brundle's 'Telepod'
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Post by Sheep2 on Jul 2, 2020 14:29:08 GMT
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Post by Chumbles on Jul 2, 2020 14:31:45 GMT
Chumbles's kitchen looks alarmingly like my father-in-law's. Chumbles Are you my father-in-law? I really really hope not, otherwise I've misplaced some offspring... tbh I'd intended to get the whole thing ripped out and replaced; I'm not a fan of the tiles and the lino is a mess of scars etc. after steam cleaning and resealing it there was no difference. The units are misshapen and there is only one drawer... |
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Post by amipal on Jul 2, 2020 14:41:53 GMT
We really need to get our kitchen ripped out and replaced. But we also want to knock the side of the house out to extend the kitchen and make it bigger.
Going to be pricey and disruptive...
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 2, 2020 15:22:08 GMT
Our house is a bit small, but to avoid the cost of extending it or moving, I've decided just to get rid of the children who are not mine. I might need to do a spreadsheet so I can demonstrate to the mammal who tolerates me why it's the best idea.
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Post by Ozymandias Kane on Jul 2, 2020 15:41:40 GMT
Top 5 inventions: 1.Beer 2.Excel 3.Lamb chops 4.Cricket 5.Brundle's 'Telepod' Whilst I agree in principle with this list, I think Brundle's fly and should be on top! afternoon |
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Post by scubar on Jul 2, 2020 15:45:18 GMT
Anyone else think that Shenguin’s preferred mammal is going to increase the space in the house after the spreadsheet presentation by getting rid of him instead?
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Post by Faceless on Jul 2, 2020 16:12:24 GMT
I reckon shenguins spreadsheet skills will be so hot he ends up with some children that are his.
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Post by sandybahookie on Jul 2, 2020 16:53:56 GMT
...sigh...
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Post by Melvazord on Jul 2, 2020 17:39:01 GMT
Maybe I'm out of the loop here, but when did Graham Linehan become a massive twat? It's safe to say if you are appealing to Mumsnet to rationalise your bullshit you've gone fairly far down the rabbit hole.
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 2, 2020 17:42:05 GMT
I reckon shenguins spreadsheet skills will be so hot he ends up with some children that are his. Thanks for the offer sweetie, but I'm not interested. |
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Post by crankcaller on Jul 2, 2020 17:47:37 GMT
If our IT don't sort out a remote thing on Monday I may need to go into the office on Tuesday. By bus and two trains..
#prayforcrank
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Post by crankcaller on Jul 2, 2020 18:41:51 GMT
But on the plus side I've just had dinner in MrsC's folks garden. Pudding was homemade raspberry parfait and homemade meringue. Tremendous stuff.
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Post by silcox on Jul 2, 2020 18:45:54 GMT
Spreadsheet? Spreadshit more like. Am I right?
=ISNUMBER(SEARCH("spreadshit",A2))
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Post by Destry on Jul 2, 2020 19:54:41 GMT
I'm not talking about the football.
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