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Post by muffrat on Sept 29, 2022 10:09:23 GMT
I think I've figured it out:
I found a lump on my left testicle the other day. Wasn't there last week, an oval mass about the size of a baked bean
My GP, by amazing chance, is married to one of the Urological surgeons at my local hospital. Not what you know, but who you know - seen in clinic first appointment at 8am today, under 48 hours after presenting at the GP
Surgeon had a feel and suggested a needle biopsy. Numbed up by a series of unpleasant injections, then while being examined again by the doc the mass just - disappeared. Popped. Leading doc to confidently diagnose a likely spermatocele cyst (almost always benign). Injected some saline solution into my scrotum so he could aspirate some fluid to send for pathology, which was about as much fun as it sounds. And my coin purse is now massive, will go down 'over next 24hrs'.
Just this last 15 mins got back home, still mercifully completely numb (they put plenty of anaesthetic in, I'm numb from half way up my buttocks all the way to the tip of muffrat Jr.). I anticipate some discomfort later on mind
So no need to come back to clinic unless it comes back, probably 100% in the clear, will hear in next 7-10 days if any abnormal pathology. Bottle of nice claret given to the surgeon, super relieved taxi ride home. Have had a beer on an empty stomach and I feel magic.
Thanks everyone for wishing me well, means a great deal
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Post by Chumbles on Sept 29, 2022 10:10:22 GMT
Amipal finishing off a tank... Not to question the accuracy of a superhero film, but if a tank goes on its roof like that, the turret tends to fall off. Sometimes slide off, which isn’t very good for the turret occupants…
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Post by scubar on Sept 29, 2022 10:12:32 GMT
Poor muffrat, he is with the angles now.
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Post by Chumbles on Sept 29, 2022 10:18:36 GMT
I think I've figured it out:
Thanks everyone for wishing me well, means a great deal Glad to hear it was likely to be a temporary problem; meanwhile, pretend you're John Wayne...
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Post by Shenguin on Sept 29, 2022 10:33:39 GMT
Yeah, I mean, I'm glad Muffrat's dead/not dead*, but I wish I hadn't read that.
*delete as applicable
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Post by Chumbles on Sept 29, 2022 10:37:44 GMT
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Post by crankcaller on Sept 29, 2022 10:57:47 GMT
More bollocks checking chat I went to the hospital years ago with a lump in my bollock. Not quite as big as muffrats. Or the lump. Anyway, got made to wear one of those arseless gown things. They then covered my nads in the gel they use when scanning pregnant people and did an ultrasound of my junk. Before he did this he asked if a student could come in and watch. Would help, invaluable blah blah. Of course I said. Cue gorgeous young trainee doctor. Triffic.
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Post by MrTiddles on Sept 29, 2022 11:08:49 GMT
Wordle 467 5/6
⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
I do wish Mrs T would stop talking shit to me when I'm doing Wordle.
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Post by crankcaller on Sept 29, 2022 11:12:14 GMT
I *may* have gone overboard on the spoiler tag. That's me, ahm oot.
I just found a 20% off Just Eat voucher in my wallet that's still in date.
The child is at a birthday party after school and the pm was dropping heavy hints about takeaway when leaving today when I was suggesting I'd get something out the freezer. A kebab would be marvellous.
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Post by dakylosaurus419 on Sept 29, 2022 11:16:49 GMT
Morning all!
Been on the trains a lot, for some reason the wifi never works on my usual morning train, but does on the afternoon one. Is it always the same train with knackered wifi? Interesting. Also been struggling to have time to get coffee beforehand, a la crank. The Dakyl protocol is shot to pieces.
Games - no
Webinar - nother one this afternoon. TB. On the way to work I've come across something presenting itself as an "Innovation cube". It was a building that was very much not a cube. I wonder if the cube is inside? And what does this innovation cube do? Do people do things in it? Or is it an entity? A cube whose only purpose is to innovate. Why is it important that it is a cube? All important questions. It may just be the toilets.
I thought that spoiler was going to be a photograph of muffrats baubles. Disappointed to say the least. I too have had my decorations checked in hospital, although pleasantly it didn't involve a needle or an audience.
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Post by Ozymandias Kane on Sept 29, 2022 11:18:41 GMT
Wordle 467 5/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I do wish Mrs T would stop talking shit to me when I'm doing Wordle.
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Post by Ozymandias Kane on Sept 29, 2022 11:19:44 GMT
Wordle 467 5/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I do wish Mrs T would stop talking shit to me when I'm doing Wordle.
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Post by MrTiddles on Sept 29, 2022 11:30:28 GMT
Daily Quordle 248 4️⃣5️⃣ 8️⃣3️⃣ quordle.com ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟨⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜🟩⬜⬜🟨 🟩🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨🟩⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
20. Beat that Kane.
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Post by Faceless on Sept 29, 2022 11:42:30 GMT
Wordle 467 5/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I do wish Mrs T would stop taking a shit on me when I'm doing Wordle. filth
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Post by Faceless on Sept 29, 2022 11:43:26 GMT
I'm in 'the book' aren't I?
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Post by Ozymandias Kane on Sept 29, 2022 12:02:39 GMT
****** **** ******* Delete as appropriate
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Post by MrTiddles on Sept 29, 2022 12:11:20 GMT
I thought that spoiler was going to be a photograph of muffrats baubles. Disappointed to say the least. I too have had my decorations checked in hospital, although pleasantly it didn't involve a needle or an audience. I have also had my sports equipment checked in hospital, although pleasantly it involved a stay in the surgery ward. I escaped the next morning with a bag full of antibiotics. E-Coli in the left dangler and associated tubing.
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Post by MrTiddles on Sept 29, 2022 12:12:15 GMT
I'm in 'the book' aren't I? You are the book, Faceless.
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Post by Tuffers on Sept 29, 2022 12:14:33 GMT
*Economyflash*
Just back from the co-op. One of the shopping items on my list was baked beans. My usual Heinz beans are now at an eye watering £1.45 a tin! Luckily there's a special offer on Branston beans, 2 tins for £1.20!
Im now loaded! Like one of Kwasi Kwartengs former employers who by pure chance and coincidence, may have, possibly by luck, but probably by brilliant insight, shorted on government bonds the day before the mini budget and made over £100m in one day.
Ive never tried Branston beans. I may have made a terrible mistake.
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Post by Felice Landry on Sept 29, 2022 12:22:26 GMT
Listening to "If you want blood" whilst walking to the pub, it's a real struggle not to air guitar all the way there.
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Post by crankcaller on Sept 29, 2022 12:22:59 GMT
Branston beans are better than Heinz. Thicker tastier sauce. Bean of choice in CrankTowers Your welcome
{Edit} Branston, not Branson. I've no idea about that wankers beans.
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Post by MrTiddles on Sept 29, 2022 12:36:28 GMT
I bought 2xtins of Heinz curry beanz yesterday, £1.40 each. Swizz-o-la.
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Post by Chumbles on Sept 29, 2022 12:45:47 GMT
More bollocks checking chat... Anyway, got made to wear one of those arseless gown things. ... Triffic. Welcome to my world; I have three of these gowns - unlike the ones they give you in hospital* they reach down to just above my knees. *Which always stop at crotch level, so you have to keep one hand on the hem to pull it down to preserve modesty. Who am I kidding? Fear and cold air do a pretty good job of doing that. The worst one was where I had an endoscope stuffed up my jacksie with air and lubricant being pumped into my intestines when the fellow directing the device called a gaggle of pretty student nurses over saying "I've not seen this before". There were oohs and ahs, and not a few giggles**. It's bloody uncomfortable, because you are trying to hold in the most enormous wet fart ever as your intestines are being filled under pressure. **To this day I haven't a clue what that was all about as my 26y old self was far too embarrassed to ask. (Top tip: don't be too embarrassed to use the bog in the recovery ward because the paper thin door is going to ensure that everyone within 3 miles will here the long and repeated evacuations. The feeling of incipient doom as you mince your way down to the taxi for, say, a 20m ride where you're trying to stay as stretched out as possible like a manic contortionist in order not to compress anything down there is terrifying. When I got home, I was on the bog for nearly an hour...)
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Post by amipal on Sept 29, 2022 13:28:49 GMT
Medical science is an amazing thing, isn’t it?
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Post by muffrat on Sept 29, 2022 13:51:23 GMT
Ive never tried Branston beans. I may have made a terrible mistake. We've been a Branston Beans household for years now. In comparison, Heinz seem thin and underseasoned to me now. I await your review. Heinz can do one in general tbh, this household now preferring Daddies/Stokes for ketchup (as I believe we've discussed previously) . The only Heinz products worth crossing the aisle for nowadays are Heinz sandwich spread (a rarity on supermarket shelves nowadays) and tomato/oxtail soup
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