Weekend Chatterbox

Johnson is a Johnson, but some red wine, a drunken attempt at sex followed by an argument in the early hours of the morning is, frankly, the kind of gutter journalism that I despise.  What is the difference between this and the muck-racking of the redtops?  The police spoke to everyone involved and decided that no breach of the law.  No-one was hurt.

Back twenty years ago I was staying for Christmas at my mother's; after an evening at my brother's place the phone rang at 3 in the morning; my sister-in-law was screaming and weeping down the phone "Chumbles, he's trying to kill me please come quickly"...

So I chucked some clothes on, rushes around there expecting in my innocence to find a lurid scene, cop cars out the front neighbours gawking...  nothing apart from lights on at their place (4 bedroom / 5 bathrooms apartment)...  I got in to find her weeping, pointing at an unblemished arm telling me "See"; wtf, but I thought perhaps he had run off...  "Where is he?"  "He's in our bedroom".  So my equally large rampaging, murderous normally OCD brother was still in the place...

By this time I had realised that something wasn't quite right about this story.  I wenr into their room to find him sterterously snoring, arms flung out across the bed, fully clothed, obviously paralytic.  Not surprised, I was at the start of a cracking hangover myself from the bottle of Bas Armagnac we'd split after the meal.  (His missus had got through half a bottle of Rum mixed with cream - Ponche-de-Creme a Trinidadian specialty (she hailed from there)).  I worked out after a while that she'd passed out first.  When he'd arrived later he'd clearly passed out - a flailing arm catching her. 

That was the extent of the murder attempt - there was also a red wine stain used as proof of his murderous state, which my mother had created earlier.  I learned a valuable lesson then, which was that spirits following a meal should never exceed a finger of brandy.  Drink beer after that.  And this confirmed: check the fucking facts.  With the principals, as journalists if you really think that this was in the public interest - not of interest to that section of the prurient public that are always interested in the private affairs of others. So now, on the hour, every fucking hour we get to listen to the repetition of 'news' of a drunken couple's row.

I can't stop thinking about amipal 's Amiga fillums.

I think I've got the formula right now. Opening scene:-


'Hi, I'm Amipal, and this, this.. is my Amiga world..'  *hand sweeps outwardly, gesturing towards some boxes of stuff on impressive shelving*

It is also news because he has been kept away from the media to avoid saying/doing something stupid and yet he is still can't keep his nose clean for just one more month.

Are your suggesting he's trying coke again? That can make you shouty.

After advice from the child on brushing my teeth I'm attempting not to rinse after brushing. It's very hard stopping learned behaviour of over 40 yrs.

Perhaps Boris was rinsing* and one of his children was telling him not to?




*Coke joke no2 fact fans.

"The neighbour said that after becoming concerned they knocked on the door but received no response. “I [was] hoping that someone would answer the door and say ‘We’re okay’. I knocked three times and no one came to the door.”

If the people living in the house were just some randoms I wonder if the neighbour would have given a toss.

I need a drink, I'm getting hydrated here.

Wizards Unite is much better than Pokemon Go at launch, the "capture" mechanics are more intricate, there are the usual potion brewing and Chest opening, the first being on a timer and the latter based on number of steps, there are "Fortresses" where you battle stuff, you choose one of three professions which each have an elaborate skill tree to help in these battles either solo or part of a team.

Basically it is the usual gacha loop, you get load of stuff, (XP, coins, potions etc.) at the start but only first capture of a type grant large XP so there is a diminishing return, you can use coins to speed stuff up and of course there is an extensive shop, 12,000 coins for £99 at the top end.

4*

It's all too plausible that the neighbours had more than half an eye on selling the story when they called the police.
Of course Guardian readers want to read every terrible story about him. 

Mornin' fuckoes.

Boris Johnson is a cunt, eh? Wowzers.

Division 2 is still great. So great I'm happily bi-console with it.

That's all.

Lunchio: Chicken, tomato and salad cream sarnies x2.

You'll gather from my genuine, but through gritted teeth comments that I am not a happy bunny - whilst the England cricket team follow Arsenal's shining example of playing brilliantly one match and the next like disinterested duffers, is part of it...  (Following a batting philosophy of 'express yourself' don't work that well if you feel like shite)...  my legs after yesterdays savage treatment has left me in a shedload of pain...  the two painkillers that I can take both carry nasty side effects so I just have to put up with it.  So, I will absent my grumpy self.  I might overreact ...

Chumbles there, wisely stepping back from the potentially fractious salad cream v mayonnaise debate.