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Post by RollingEscargot on Aug 25, 2019 8:17:45 GMT
It is indeed a beautiful morning, though my evening was slightly disturbed by a music festival happening not far from my house. I also turned my ankle while out running down a hill and ended up in Saturday evening A and E with a load of people who had at least injured themselves while high on something. Thankfully nothing broken but looking forward to milking it for all its worth anyway.
Games: Lords of Midnight in the hospital waiting room. Doomdark is winning.
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Post by MrTiddles on Aug 25, 2019 8:52:42 GMT
I had crab linguine last night and this morning I feel an urge to murder that c**t Phillip Schofield. Could they be connected? Would the crab linguine be a credible defence in court? Or would they just let me off as a justifiable murder. I wonder what lazybones would make of this. |
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Post by MrTiddles on Aug 25, 2019 8:56:36 GMT
That last post was just an excuse to invoke lazybones. Schofield though, it's beyond f**king words. |
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Post by Faceless on Aug 25, 2019 9:09:32 GMT
Hello, I did not see foo fighters last night RollingEscargot as I was accosted on the way there by some drunken buffoon in a Birmingham City shirt waving his kindle around and shouting about penis injections. I did see Ocean Colour Scene though, who I'd assumed were all dead. Turns out they are just old. |
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Post by Chumbles on Aug 25, 2019 9:30:06 GMT
Ocean Colour Scene = or just engulfed by plastic. I await Torquemada for that poor 'joke'
The new avatar is Scuba the Fractious; a female dwarf warlord - she's hot stuff for a dwarf... only one double chin and no beard!
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Post by Shenguin on Aug 25, 2019 9:40:22 GMT
I had crab linguine last night and this morning I feel an urge to murder that c**t Phillip Schofield. Could they be connected? Would the crab linguine be a credible defence in court? Or would they just let me off as a justifiable murder. I wonder what lazybones would make of this. What's wrong with Philip Schofield? Crab linguine is a pretty nasty way of refering to a very beautiful act. |
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Post by MrTiddles on Aug 25, 2019 9:48:52 GMT
I had crab linguine last night and this morning I feel an urge to murder that c**t Phillip Schofield. Could they be connected? Would the crab linguine be a credible defence in court? Or would they just let me off as a justifiable murder. I wonder what lazybones would make of this. What's wrong with Philip Schofield? Crab linguine is a pretty nasty way of refering to a very beautiful act. Crab linguine is no creme brulee. Oh, you meant a sex thing with Philip Schofield. Filth. |
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Post by RollingEscargot on Aug 25, 2019 9:52:04 GMT
I saw Philip Schofield in Joseph once. You heard.
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Post by crankcaller on Aug 25, 2019 10:57:36 GMT
I saw Philip Schofield in Joseph once. You heard. I'd have closed my eyes. |
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Post by Ozymandias Kane on Aug 25, 2019 11:27:37 GMT
I saw Philip Schofield in Joseph once. You heard. no photo's! |
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Post by amipal on Aug 25, 2019 11:49:16 GMT
Hello all.
Today I've been down the beach with the boy. Despite taking arm-bands, swimming trunks and a big towel, we did not progress into the sea itself.
On the way home, he asked if he could get his paddling pool out.
Come on! You had a stretch of the English Channel available for paddlin'!
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Post by RollingEscargot on Aug 25, 2019 12:14:26 GMT
The young lad doesn't want to get any closer to France than he absolutely has to.
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Post by crankcaller on Aug 25, 2019 12:21:32 GMT
Hello.
More Div2 last night.
Got a lovely M4 assault rifle for shooting folk in the face.
Spent the last few of hours making minestrone. Ideal in this weather.
Our neighbours have built an extension out the back and a ramp down from it. The wife is going to end up in a wheelchair and so it's so she will be able to get into the garden. Which is fine.
Except instead of going into the garden she's sitting on a chair with a wee table at the top of the ramp facing our kitchen window about 12ft away. I feel like a celebrity chef doing a demonstration every time I make toast.
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Post by crankcaller on Aug 25, 2019 12:38:23 GMT
It's 25° and I have to cut the grass as I said I would. The fucked server getout isn't valid on a Sunday.
My possible solution to the neighbours is a reflective sticker on the outside of the kitchen window, or a lifeguards seat so I can peer over the fence elsewhere in the garden.
Or an AR-15 liberally applied.
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Post by Chumbles on Aug 25, 2019 12:43:29 GMT
The young lad doesn't want to get any closer to France than he absolutely has to. More likely he has been told at school about all the crap in the slimy, briny sea. amipal seriously, immersion in sea water substantially colder than skin temperature can trigger an asthmatic response. |
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Post by Chumbles on Aug 25, 2019 12:52:41 GMT
It's 25° and I have to cut the grass as I said I would. The fucked server getout isn't valid on a Sunday. My possible solution to the neighbours is a reflective sticker on the outside of the kitchen window, or a lifeguards seat so I can peer over the fence elsewhere in the garden. Or an AR-15 liberally applied. This makes sense for £13 from Amazon  Sadly the cracking looking blonde doesn't come with it; she is probably about £150k (available in different sizes and colours). On the bright side you've already got one. |
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Post by crankcaller on Aug 25, 2019 13:17:28 GMT
150k!
Does she make you cut the grass?
Yeah the reflective stuff on the windows is a possibility. As is an optical illusion painted on that you can only see from the top of their ramp.
Me in the buff should do it.
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Post by Shenguin on Aug 25, 2019 13:50:07 GMT
Erm. Cricket is an appalling sport, and England are nothing but an utterly contemptible let down. I am all doom and gloom about cricket. Yes, yes I am.
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Post by Faceless on Aug 25, 2019 14:05:43 GMT
Erm. Cricket is an appalling sport, and England are nothing but an utterly contemptible let down. I am all doom and gloom about cricket. Yes, yes I am. What are the odds on Extras being our top scorer? |
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Post by Shenguin on Aug 25, 2019 14:13:49 GMT
Erm. Cricket is an appalling sport, and England are nothing but an utterly contemptible let down. I am all doom and gloom about cricket. Yes, yes I am. What are the odds on Extras being our top scorer? Wrong timing for that questions. You should have complained that England always try to walk it in |
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Post by Faceless on Aug 25, 2019 14:24:43 GMT
What are the odds on Extras being our top scorer? Wrong timing for that questions. You should have complained that England always try to walk it in Still, could be over by supper time. |
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Post by Chumbles on Aug 25, 2019 14:48:47 GMT
Wrong timing for that questions. You should have complained that England always try to walk it in Still, could be over by supper time. I wasn't joking when I said I'd had enough... England losing I can take but the abject performances and particularly the lack of moral courage in someone given the privilege to play for the country AND BEING PAID FOR IT, I cannot bear. There's too little of my life left to waste on it. And I can't bear that cunt Maxwell so TMS is off limits until the Root/Bayliss combo is out, I guess. PS. When Thorpe, the batting coach says "We select the best batsmen available." the complete lack of responsibility inherent in that statement appears to be outside his comprehension. It leaves me fucking furious. Chastise the batsmen, but shoot the coaches ... Will it improve? |
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Post by Shenguin on Aug 25, 2019 14:54:50 GMT
I think you know and care more about cricket than I do, but I bought a day pass for Sky Sports (fuck 'em) so I could watch Blues v Swansea, so now I'm actually watching live cricket on the TV for the first time since, well, since the World Cup. But I think the last time before that was when the Ashes were on normal TV. Also, fuck me, I'm having trouble remaining bleak and without hope at the moment. Also, I forgive Ben Stokes everything bad he's ever done (and that's a fuck of a lot) no matter what else happens.
Chumbles please put TMS back on. I know they're about to let us down, but this is fucking exciting. Edit: I just googled Ben Stokes. I think he's probably a worse human than I realised. |
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Post by Chumbles on Aug 25, 2019 15:03:16 GMT
Chumbles please put TMS back on. I know they're about to let us down, but this is fucking exciting. won't let me... |
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Post by lazybones on Aug 25, 2019 15:05:15 GMT
That last post was just an excuse to invoke lazybones. Schofield though, it's beyond f**king words. Hello |
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