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Post by Chumbles on Apr 25, 2020 13:24:43 GMT
Sheep2-bots... in their countless numbers*  *Oxymoronic garbage... look at them go, heads up their arses; going to be an almighty pile-up when one of them drops one...
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Post by amipal on Apr 25, 2020 14:08:09 GMT
Shameless.
But then, we all knew he'd do that, didn't we?
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Post by amipal on Apr 25, 2020 14:16:46 GMT
Afternoon all.
I've been sanding skirtingboards. One more coat of paint I reckon, and then I can get them on the walls.
I've also been out with the boy, chasing after him on his balance bike. Hell of a work-out for ol' pa here.
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Post by Sheep2 on Apr 25, 2020 14:23:46 GMT
So...
A man goes into McDonalds (pre lockdown obviously) and orders a Big Mac Meal with a milkshake.
The staff serve him and he goes and sits at a table in the corner.
Takes a bite of the burger.
Eats a handful of chips.
Drinks the entire milkshake.
Goes back up to the counter and orders another milkshake
He goes and sits at his table in the corner.
Takes a bite of the burger.
Eats a handful of chips.
Drinks the entire milkshake.
Goes back up to the counter and orders another milkshake
He goes and sits at his table in the corner.
Takes a bite of the burger.
Eats a handful of chips.
Drinks the entire milkshake.
Goes back up to the counter and orders another milkshake.
This time the manger intervenes. Tells him to leave the restaurant. - "Go on fuck off you dirty pervert".
Chases him out and locks the door.
The manger goes back in furious and sees the staff looking at him quizzically.
He tells them "I'm not having that sort of behaviour in here. It's disgusting"
They are a bit confused, not understanding so he has to tell them -
"More than three shakes is masturbation".
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Post by Sheep2 on Apr 25, 2020 14:24:57 GMT
Shameless. But then, we all knew he'd do that, didn't we? I'm not sorry. Not in the slightest. In fact it's been amusing me all afternoon. |
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Post by Faceless on Apr 25, 2020 14:26:46 GMT
I've also been out with the boy, chasing after him on his balance bike Pro tip: make sure you've taught them how to use the brake before you send them down any steep hills. You only make that mistake once.... |
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Post by RollingEscargot on Apr 25, 2020 14:27:23 GMT
So sheep2 has been a babyfark sockpuppet this whole time? Checks out.
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Post by amipal on Apr 25, 2020 14:32:37 GMT
I've also been out with the boy, chasing after him on his balance bike Pro tip: make sure you've taught them how to use the brake before you send them down any steep hills. You only make that mistake once.... The only brakes he has on it are his feet. There have been some... near-misses. |
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Post by Sheep2 on Apr 25, 2020 14:33:23 GMT
I wasn't going to post anything in particular, but I thought you all deserved a terrible joke.
And it has to be told properly badly. I do know more annoying jokes. I am saving them for desperate times.
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Post by Ozymandias Kane on Apr 25, 2020 14:40:40 GMT
I wasn't going to post anything in particular, but I thought you all deserved a terrible joke. And it has to be told properly badly. I do know more annoying jokes. I am saving them for desperate times. Here's an abstract one, What's blue and white and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you it will kill you? A fridge with a Denim jacket on! not sorry, in the slightest! |
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Post by Chumbles on Apr 25, 2020 14:44:38 GMT
So... [lots of cunt & paste here...] This time the manger intervenes.. You've either been too long in the Sun or you're becoming your avatar... RollingEscargot: Sheep2 has been a BabyfarkmcGeezak sockpuppet this whole time? If that's so then he's close to a thousand ... |
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Post by RollingEscargot on Apr 25, 2020 14:46:42 GMT
We've spent hours today tidying the living room. Among numerous interesting discoveries were a half eaten sandwich of indeterminate vintage and a full set of cutlery deep in the bowels of the sofa.
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Post by Sheep2 on Apr 25, 2020 14:54:56 GMT
So... [lots of cunt & paste here...] This time the manger intervenes.. You've either been too long in the Sun or you're becoming your avatar... RollingEscargot : Sheep2 has been a BabyfarkmcGeezak sockpuppet this whole time? If that's so then he's close to a thousand ... 10,000. It would be 10,000. And Baby is not me and I am not Baby. I couldn't live in Sheffield or work in Derby. |
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Post by Sheep2 on Apr 25, 2020 14:56:21 GMT
We've spent hours today tidying the living room. Among numerous interesting discoveries were a half eaten sandwich of indeterminate vintage and a full set of cutlery deep in the bowels of the sofa. Did you eat the rest of the sandwich? |
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Post by Destry on Apr 25, 2020 15:02:20 GMT
Hello
This morning my wife found out that the husband of a friend of hers has died in hospital of coronavirus in Edinburgh.
So it goes.
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Post by Sheep2 on Apr 25, 2020 15:23:07 GMT
It brings it home a bit when it is someone you sort of know.
It's difficult to know quite what to say except to offer my condolences.
It's a bit grim as well when you can't visit people to offer sympathy in person.
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Post by Destry on Apr 25, 2020 15:30:51 GMT
I didn't know the friend or her husband, (she's an old school friend of my wife) but it has hit my wife quite hard.
She is taking solace from the fact that, unlike for many, her friend and close family were able to be with him at the end.
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Post by crankcaller on Apr 25, 2020 15:34:36 GMT
I echo sheep's comments.
It's all very abstract until it's someone you know. My condolences to Mrs D.
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Post by Destry on Apr 25, 2020 15:35:47 GMT
Among numerous interesting discoveries were a half eaten sandwich of indeterminate vintage and a full set of cutlery deep in the bowels of the sofa. By a full set do you mean 6 knives, 6 forks, 6 dessertspoons and 6 tea spoons? Were they still in the box? |
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Post by Faceless on Apr 25, 2020 15:47:58 GMT
Among numerous interesting discoveries were a half eaten sandwich of indeterminate vintage and a full set of cutlery deep in the bowels of the sofa. By a full set do you mean 6 knives, 6 forks, 6 dessertspoons and 6 tea spoons? Were they still in the box? You forgot spork. Can't have a full set of cutlery without a spork. |
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Post by Chumbles on Apr 25, 2020 15:52:58 GMT
Sadly, we are all going to face news of tragedies filtering through like ghosts out of time ... After 9 months in hospital, with so many folk dying in my ward sections, I've become a little inured to grief... too many, too often, too close to me. But like water into a black well, you follow the plunge of each drop into the darkness, watch the ripples and feel the pull of the darkness on your heart. Destry , I hope you and your missus are OK. |
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Post by lonewolf on Apr 25, 2020 15:55:17 GMT
Kim Jong Un is in a vegatative state, I can only think this is closest to a vegetable he has ever been.
Also Im not an expert in, well anything, but I think he now is official Kim Jong ill.
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Post by Destry on Apr 25, 2020 15:58:43 GMT
ChumblesThanks, we are both fine. I didn't know either of them except anecdotally. And I'm aware that this pandemic is hitting many others a lot closer to home.
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Post by crankcaller on Apr 25, 2020 16:51:31 GMT
The neighbours are trolling me by playing cover versions of some of the songs they normally listen to. Possibly the Buble.
They were talking about having a street party when lockdown is over. I think we're busy that weekend. But I am going to make sure the Roma buskers band turn up to play.
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Post by RollingEscargot on Apr 25, 2020 16:54:32 GMT
We've spent hours today tidying the living room. Among numerous interesting discoveries were a half eaten sandwich of indeterminate vintage and a full set of cutlery deep in the bowels of the sofa. Did you eat the rest of the sandwich? Yuck. I am not an animal. I left it for the kids to share. |
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