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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 23, 2024 17:34:19 GMT
I've got a 2kg jar of chilli pickle in my online basket. My finger is hovering over the purchase button.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 23, 2024 7:19:55 GMT
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 20:51:50 GMT
What did the lesbian vampire say to the lesbian?
See you next month.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 20:21:12 GMT
I'm about to post a joke, and it's going to be a corker.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 19:20:08 GMT
I have been watching the first Avengers film. The prison sphere on the flying base designed for Hulk would be a pretty awful way to die if a normal person was put in there and dropped. You would be rattled around with various bones broken and no doubt vomiting, urinating and defecating everywhere. You would then constantly be thrown around said cocktail of body goo before exploding and liquidising upon ground impact to add to the human soup. Then you would roll about like a miserable snow globe. Heart attack would probably get you before impact. Yeah maybe for you, you dweeb. I lift weights and drink beer. |
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 17:36:46 GMT
An inventor organises a meeting with a large technology firm to demonstrate his latest creation in the hopes of getting it onto the market.
Alone in a room with the CEO, he says to her, "I'd like you to meet Servobot 1999," and gestures to the door.
A boxy, roughly humanoid-shaped contraption wobbles into the room on clunky actuated legs. It has a big monitor for a face on which some poorly scribbled features have been defined.
The CEO looks disappointed. "What does it do?" She asks.
"Anything and everything," the scientist replies, excited. "Servobot," he says to the robot, "Organise the CEOs filing cabinet."
"YES, DADDY." Servobot replies and immediately sets to work organising a cabinet in the corner.
His arms move so fast the CEO can't even see them. In a matter of moments the clutter has vanished and every file is alphabetised and colour-coded.
"Amazing!" Says the CEO.
"You haven't seen the half of it," replies the inventor. "Servobot, using whatever is available in this room, make the CEO a meal."
"YES, DADDY," Servobot replies and in the blink of an eye, Servobot is strategically flitting from one corner to the next, trimming cut-offs from plants, shaving leather off books, picking things out of the carpet. Once he's collected a handful of garbage, an opening reveals itself in his chests and he places the garbage inside. Dazzling light illuminates every corner of the room and Servobot starts whirring loudly as he states, "COMMENCING RECONSTITUTION OF ATOMIC STRUCTURES. LOADING. LOADING. BON APETITE."
As if by magic the garbage has disappeared. In its place is a perfectly cooked and succulent-looking roast chicken.
"Try it," Says the inventor.
The CEO does and it's the most delicious meat she's ever experienced. "Absolutely incredible. But I have to ask, why does it call you 'Daddy'?"
"Ah. That." Says the inventor. "Well, obviously Servobot 1999 is a leap in technology the likes of which has never been seen. It is a process that has taken me decades."
As the inventor is speaking, Servobot turns away from the CEO and presents to her his metallic behind. "SPANK ME, MOMMY," it says to the CEO
The inventor continues, apologetically. "But there are still some kinks to work out."
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 22, 2024 13:03:33 GMT
I have been watching the first Avengers film. The prison sphere on the flying base designed for Hulk would be a pretty awful way to die if a normal person was put in there and dropped.
You would be rattled around with various bones broken and no doubt vomiting, urinating and defecating everywhere. You would then constantly be thrown around said cocktail of body goo before exploding and liquidising upon ground impact to add to the human soup.
Then you would roll about like a miserable snow globe.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 19, 2024 8:51:04 GMT
I went boozing last night, but don't feel too bad today. I congratulate my liver on its ability to break down toxins, I have trained it well.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 19, 2024 7:15:08 GMT
I just invested some more. Buy cheap, sell high.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 21:15:35 GMT
Martinez received a second yellow for Villa during a penalty shootout but didn't get sent off because Sheep2 touches himself at night.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 12:42:33 GMT
I just won a game of Cuisine Royale.
BR games in which I have been victorious:
1. Fortnite
2. Apex Legends
3. PUBG
4. Cuisine Royale
I'm quite a big deal in BR circles.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 10:09:41 GMT
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 10:08:20 GMT
In Yorkshire this is late winter.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 9:44:44 GMT
5% pay increase. Whoop whoop! Eat that, inflation!! Best of all, I get to update The Spreadsheet. |
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 8:30:48 GMT
5% pay increase. Whoop whoop!
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 8:04:09 GMT
I thought Fallout TV was a solid 4 out 5. Could do with a few more monsters.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 7:40:23 GMT
I think it's time Tuffers pulled his socks up and stopped slouching.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 18, 2024 7:30:28 GMT
My ISA investments have really dipped, just 0.6% total return now. I did just invest a little bit more, so managed to at least buy cheaper units.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 17, 2024 15:06:12 GMT
I paid for Vanguard to pick my stock and selected 4/5 for risk. Total return since early Feb is about 3.5%.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 17, 2024 14:19:12 GMT
HUGE bloody hail stones now.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 17, 2024 13:05:59 GMT
I have a bit of tummy upset and am jittery from too much day. Not a productive day.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 17, 2024 13:04:52 GMT
My investments are now 93 pence down on yesterday’s high. I expect with various wars ongoing and elections on the way things will unsteady for a while. |
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 17, 2024 8:55:57 GMT
I'm now level 5 and I've the option to turn on the ability to shoot other players, and in turn be shot. I didn't as I'm finding my feet. If you've played Fallout 4 you'd have a definite advantage as from my limited experience it seems the same controls, pip boy etc. You're in a map with up to 24 other folk. You can play play a private server with 7 other losers. You can jump between 1st & 3rd person which is nice as I prefer 3rd for mooching about. What do you actually do? Complete quests? Randomly explored? Build a base? |
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 17, 2024 7:15:10 GMT
Gaming night went badly.
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Post by BabyfarkmcGeezak on Apr 17, 2024 7:14:57 GMT
Morning. TV. Ripley & Fallout. Games. Fallout 76. No idea what I'm doing. Shot some robots and then reprogrammed the rest. Shot some gouls in a basement. Four stars. Is that the latest MMO Fallout? Let me know how you get on, I am considering branching out. |
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