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Post by Melvazord on May 13, 2022 15:10:14 GMT
War chat. Russians getting annoyed at Finland is hilarious. If they're getting rolled by some farmers on perfectly flat land, how are they going to take on the roaving heavy metal bands and moomins in the Finnish swamps and forests? Idiots.
Anyway, here's a relevant joke:
A large group of Russian soldiers are moving down a road in Finland during WW2, when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier can kill ten Russians".
The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn can kill fifty Russians."
Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 50 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn can kill 100 Russians!"
The enraged Russian commander musters 100 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Again, a huge battle erupts, then silence.
Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and yells,
"It's a trap! There are two of them!"
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Post by Melvazord on May 12, 2022 12:36:00 GMT
Bit surprised anyone wants my skin, given it spent the first 17 years of its life exposed to the driving north eastern rain, and then being pickled for the next 10 in Glasgow. Its not in a bad state at first glance, but its not passing an MOT.
Hi!
We had Chinese and watched Incredibles 2 last night just because.
This morning I put on some kradschutzen to print before I left for work.
You heard.
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Post by Melvazord on May 11, 2022 14:37:21 GMT
Phew! Just read the Carbon Bomb catastrophic climate change article (lead article on The G). If you zoom in on the half remaining picture of Earth, or watch the animation as it changes, then Great Britain is above the level of any damage. Well maybe the south east is a bit fucked (sorry Amipal). I think Yorkshire is OK, certainly scotch-land looks fine. Should give us a fighting chance in the next Ashes series too. It's all fun and games until the gulf stream collapses and we become Norway 2: Brexit Boogaloo. |
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Post by Melvazord on May 11, 2022 13:22:13 GMT
Maybe I’ve burned too much frankincense. I’m feeling extremely relaxed. "Frankincense". Sure. |
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Post by Melvazord on May 11, 2022 13:13:55 GMT
I'm currently trying to figure out how many kradschutzen* one can fit into 1000 points for a tournament. Its a busy day at Big Science Inc.
In other news...no, that's it.
*66, not including officers and machine gun sidecars.
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Post by Melvazord on May 10, 2022 14:50:08 GMT
Think Danky was actually referring to the "Deer-Man", a local cryptid in the form of a half-man, half deer centaur type. The front half is the deer. |
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Post by Melvazord on May 10, 2022 14:18:59 GMT
I've been vegetarian for over a year now, there's not much I miss about meat consumption, but if someone ever invents a vegetarian lorne sausage then they'll be my hero. I've stopped being Vegetarian for around a year now. Have enjoyed quite a few meat products but nothing thats blown me away completely.
I knew one of you was bound to be the alternative dimension version of me. Since I don't have a goatee, I'm going to assume you do and are therefore the evil one. More evil, anyway. |
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Post by Melvazord on May 10, 2022 13:08:40 GMT
Getting angry with your own thoughts seems like a one-way route to psychological ruin. "Welcome to the mental health awareness week seminar. This is Melvazord everyone. Don't do this. Any questions?" |
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Post by Melvazord on May 10, 2022 12:29:00 GMT
I have to send a mental health awareness email to my team today.
Me! What can I do to help people with a mental health issue other than be the "don't do this" example?
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Post by Melvazord on May 10, 2022 10:23:26 GMT
*sound of engine starting and tyres screeching off* |
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Post by Melvazord on May 10, 2022 10:14:25 GMT
I could totally scoff a square sausage right now. It wouldn't stand a chance I've been vegetarian for over a year now, there's not much I miss about meat consumption, but if someone ever invents a vegetarian lorne sausage then they'll be my hero. |
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Post by Melvazord on May 10, 2022 6:53:16 GMT
I don't want to go to work today.
I mean I never do, but today I really don't.
Pray for Melvazord.
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Post by Melvazord on May 9, 2022 21:50:07 GMT
To avoid accidents when making popcorn you should just stick it in the microwave bin. FTFY |
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Post by Melvazord on May 9, 2022 20:48:35 GMT
Tenthen the only one who hasn't been gotten to by Big Corn.
Is it because she already works for Big Ziggurat?
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Post by Melvazord on May 9, 2022 14:21:44 GMT
For the record, I hate pop corn, David Attenborough, and Star Wars . I met David Attenborough once, he was a right grumpy sod. It was on the one day* I was allowed out of hospital* so you'd think he'd have been a bit nicer. I'll never forgive you for Star Wars though, you monster. Well...OK the sequal trilogy maybe...and the prequels. You might have a point actually. * yes my handlers knew about it, I hadn't technically escaped. |
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Post by Melvazord on May 9, 2022 12:56:48 GMT
Scene outside Melvazord's house  I mean you're not far wrong, since our garden is semi-wild* to encourage wildlife. Our silly boot of a neighbour hates it, so it gets wilder every year**, not that I'm petty or anything. Cough. *like Loan Wilf **see above |
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Post by Melvazord on May 9, 2022 12:26:00 GMT
Hi
Games: playing the FO4 DLC that I couldn't afford at the time, but now I'm a highfalutin middle manager type I can afford the DLC for 7 years old games, thats just the kind of money I'm pulling in now, sorry plebs.
OTTM: I think there's a bird in our loft. Last time that happened, when I investigated, it flew right at my face and nearly tipped me down the hatch. He's back to finish the job...
Popcorn, and I can't state this strongly enough, is a shit snack. Like chewing buttery cardboard. Pointless.
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Post by Melvazord on May 7, 2022 10:47:58 GMT
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Post by Melvazord on May 6, 2022 17:17:40 GMT
Great results in the elections. Almost enough to have a brave, new hope that the electorate of England are turning their back on the Tories and then later on have that hope crushed when they return them to power at the next General Election. I'm not falling for it! Nice try though. Given that I live in Northamptonshire, where the Torys literally bankrupted the local council and still got voted back in, I have zero hope. The people round here are bucolic morons. |
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Post by Melvazord on May 6, 2022 15:09:32 GMT
Hi
Nothing matters. One of our cats died and I am bereft. I may hate almost all people, but I love animals. He was diagnosed with cancer and died the same day when we brought him home. I loved the wee lad, he parted too soon.
Sorry to be a bummer.
Have a good weekend everyone.
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Post by Melvazord on Apr 28, 2022 20:11:05 GMT
This subject is way too specific: flash/lit-from-window. A very sparse variety of shots, and the advanced group putting in some bang average images too. Flashing from the window generally frowned upon, also dangerous if you live in a high-rise. |
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Post by Melvazord on Apr 28, 2022 19:06:05 GMT
I go, I come back.
Games: gone back to Fallout 4, is it training for the near future? Yes.
OTTM: Looks like my bosses boss might also be about to pack it in, time to sup from an even bigger poisoned chalice? Tasty double poison, the dream.
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Post by Melvazord on Apr 23, 2022 15:55:01 GMT
So far, so noisy, but the nice-ish ones tell me that they both have tested positive for Covid - and they borrowed my carpet washer 'for the weekend' 3 weeks ago... which could prove problematic if I have a clumsy nurse who chucks the paraffin based emollient onto my carpet. I think you'll be much happier in life if you can take the first step and just admit you're huffing paraffin. |
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Post by Melvazord on Apr 23, 2022 7:55:59 GMT
Today is my Sunday, Sunday and Monday are also my Sunday. Me and Mrs Zord are away to York for a jaunt. If I happen to "accidently" find a games shop well won't that be a treat for us both...
Games: F1 2021. Verstappen tried to smash his way past me at the Senna S at Interlagos and ended up knocking his own front wing off, forcing him to pit and handing me the drivers championship because I won the race and he came 8th, the silly wee prick.
OTTM: painting some snake men, printing some goblins.
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Post by Melvazord on Apr 22, 2022 13:17:47 GMT
I printed and painted a Pot Boi. This is relevant to video games such as Super Tennis.  |
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