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Post by Melvazord on Sept 30, 2018 19:50:39 GMT
My friend has a fancy satnav that will accept verbal instructions. We were going to a sinister war dolly tournament near Solihull earlier in the year and it would only accept Solihull as a word if you literally screeched at it in the roughest voice possible "SOLY'ULL!"
The place itself matched this instructions tone.
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 30, 2018 8:12:50 GMT
Hi
I still feel subhuman, like I've been looking at pictures of Michael Goves face all day, and tomorrow I have a presentation to give*
The joy.
Today I shall be mostly coughing.
* It's about SCIENCE again. Except this time the audience are millennials, so I can pretty much just make it up since they won't be listening anyway.
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 29, 2018 11:43:09 GMT
Hi!
Games: I bought Mordheim because I'm a nerd.
Lunch: coughing and lucozade
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 29, 2018 11:26:56 GMT
Mrs Zord went upstairs because our chat was interrupting her watching Scorpion. My argument that we were doing her a favour by talking over its trite clichéd dialogue, ridiculous storylines and poor excuse for acting didn't go down well. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 29, 2018 9:40:24 GMT
How is the new jobby going Mr Faceless? So far so good. My new boss said I was proactive. I started laughing as I assumed he was being sarcastic. Turns out he wasn't. I'm pretty sure he said provocative and you misheard |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 29, 2018 9:09:56 GMT
I'd love to hear Wee talk. He comes from the Kingdom of Fife, so it would be really odd to hear a lilting non-threatening TSB advert voice as your throat is cut ear to ear.
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 29, 2018 8:05:32 GMT
Perhaps our two second places would have been one higher if most of the time hadn't been spent with the refrain:
"Yau wot? Oi cahnt understahnd a weerd thees bluhdy jocks ohn abhat"
My accent is massively toned down in order to talk to East Midlanders. A people who think they have an accent. They have no discernible accent.
Truly the revelations of the night were that Baby, who you'd expect to be a mouthy twat, was the quietest of everyone, and that we managed two 2nd places.
Through hiding in a pool of our own cowardice*, but 2nd place nonetheless.
*That wasn't cowardice.
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 29, 2018 7:36:32 GMT
I'm not from Glasgow.
And I really should have qualified my statement with : "sounds reet posh...compared to what I expected from this place ie a mush mouthed yokel. Like what Sheep sounded like"
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 23:35:28 GMT
There are posh bits of Birmingham?
*Glasses lens breaks*
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 22:17:27 GMT
Although, I suppose anybody would be, compared to Melvazord... Tae fuck pal |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 20:50:59 GMT
Me and Shenguin are playing now. God he reet posh sounding.
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 19:19:51 GMT
To be fair, I wasn't so much tactically claiming incompetence as tactically accusing you of it. There is nothing tactical in my incompetence I assure you |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 19:11:06 GMT
I've already tried to add rolling and wordy, but clearly they're too cool to play games with the mentally feeble. I thought Baby played on the BAWKS Ninjaed: I warn you, I can get upward of 1 kill per game now. That's right, you can touch me if you like Did you? I wasn't ignoring you - never saw anything come up. Mind you sometimes it's my kids who are playing and I have instructed them not to talk to angry aberdonians on the internet. When I've played with Shenguin and sheep it's been via ps network join a party option, not the adding friends via epic thing... No idea how the latter works. Ah, the old tactical incompetence excuse. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 19:08:00 GMT
Will the real slim shenguin please stand up? Bluff. There are no slim Shenguins. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 18:29:04 GMT
I'm Shenguin1. I'll be on later. This implies you are not the original Shenguin and you usurped his power and drained his vital essence. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 18:08:36 GMT
It's in the friend finder thing in the top right. I'd be up for it too actually. I still haven't added shenguin because I'm the worst at games. Y'all need to tell us what your screen names are in Fortnite. Mine is Melvazord. A shock I know. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 17:06:48 GMT
Pretty sure baby plays on PC? I'd love to see a group of you shenguin and sheep though. Love to. I am seriously incompetent though. Rolling plays as well sometimes. I don't know how I'd find you or you'd find me, or really how to set up a party. In other news, I'm still at work. Sob. It's in the friend finder thing in the top right. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 16:49:17 GMT
I'm sure I'll regret this but once they allow the console link thing feel free to add me and we can be old and shit together, huddled for warmth before the young people put us out of our misery Pretty sure baby plays on PC? I'd love to see a group of you shenguin and sheep though. I've already tried to add rolling and wordy, but clearly they're too cool to play games with the mentally feeble. I thought Baby played on the BAWKS Ninjaed: I warn you, I can get upward of 1 kill per game now. That's right, you can touch me if you like |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 16:23:54 GMT
So, once again, you still haven't won a game? This is getting embarrassing now Baby. Might be time to try a different game. The Lego games might be more your level. Until I win a solo or duo it will never stop. I will keep going beyond the humiliating losses, the family interventions, the decline in mental health, the desperate and subsequent addiction to stimulants, the loss of friends etc... I'm sure I'll regret this but once they allow the console link thing feel free to add me and we can be old and shit together, huddled for warmth before the young people put us out of our misery |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 28, 2018 14:05:30 GMT
Hi
I'm sick
No physically as well.
God of War 3 eh? I'd like to play this...oh wait, 15 minute intro...ok we're playing..oh no wait, another 12 minutes where I can't play...ok right so I can play...nope, another cut scene ..and delete.
It's a shit Bayonetta isn't it?
Anyone played Spiderman yet? Worth getting?
I hear Loan Wilf is getting married. Did he hit the legal maximum of children you can have before they force you to marry your cousin?
Congrats anyway Wilf.
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 13, 2018 14:02:23 GMT
You can touch me if you like. That would be comforting, yes please. Hug? |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 13, 2018 12:47:23 GMT
Hi
Today is my Friday and Monday isn't my Monday. I'm on holiday. You can touch me if you like.
GAMES: I played Fortnite last night and managed to complete the week 9 challenges. Don't think I'll hit level 100 this time round, but since I'm spending a week in Rome I'm not overly bothered.
Trousers: Unshat
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 12, 2018 14:44:07 GMT
I reckon Melvazord just got up in front of his audience and did a hyperactive run through of Gangnam Style while waving a Bunsen burner in the air and shouting the word SCIENCE! The daft racist. Actually it was Idol by BTS and a volumetric flask filled with my own piss, but close enough. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 12, 2018 14:12:25 GMT
Hi!
So after my meeting with Korean bigwigs on Monday I also had to do a presentation on SCIENCE! today in front of people who also do SCIENCE! and so would know if I was bullshitting. I was only given a weeks notice. I was assigned 4 new experimental studies on the same day.
No, I haven't slept this week. It was a pant shitting week all round.
It went quite well, and I only got asked 2 questions both of which I could answer. This means one of two things:
1: I did SCIENCE! well. 2: I did SCIENCE! bad.
I had a little display and everything.
GAMES: You're having a giraffe, I've been too busy not sleeping and cleaning the shit out of my trousers. You know, like Cobblers, but for a different reason. |
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Post by Melvazord on Sept 10, 2018 15:11:39 GMT
Anyone hoping for a 'Spot The Destry' competition will be disappointed, as the nearest webcam appears to be 3 miles outside Pagham. I'm currently in The Hatter's Inn in Bognor where I paid the princely sum of £1.84 for a pint of beer Well, nice knowing you. I assume you are about to drink yourself to death? |
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