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Post by Shenguin on Aug 8, 2019 7:14:28 GMT
Good Morning Everyone! I hope you are all well and happy.
I am on leave today and tomorrow, so yesterday was my Friday. We were meant to be going camping, but the soft southern softies have cancelled it because of some weather forecast or something. I have done over an hours work already this morning. Next I have to make a picnic and then go to a shop and then spend the day herding children or something.
Ganes: None
OTTM: Dominic Cummings really does look and act like Duke from Doonesbury. Also, he's an absolute horrowing class A weapons grade cardboard-cutout stone-cold John Terry cunt. Fucking piece of shit. I hope Something Bad happens to him. Fucking cunt.
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 20, 2019 21:43:33 GMT
Cunts
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 19, 2019 21:46:38 GMT
Trenchant. You need a hug? ys pls |
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 19, 2019 21:25:48 GMT
Cunts
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Post by Shenguin on Jun 29, 2019 22:09:55 GMT
Quatermass and the pit was on earlier. Ace. That is all. Over to the 'Sweary Sheggers show'. Excuse me? I am not the sort to use unpleasant language, I can assure you, you cheeky cunt. |
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Post by Shenguin on Jun 23, 2019 21:08:37 GMT
It's all so sadly predictable. I can't think of a single time in my voting life, I've been on the winning side of anything. All the while, my generation and the one after get told we're frivolous layabouts, despite evidence that we pay higher percentage of wages for rents and have less disposable income than previous generations. But ultimately, we can't even be assed (in general) to turn out and vote to change anything. Instead, the Tories continue to vote in their fucking interest and poor misguided individuals vote for Boris, who for some reason has managed to persuade people that Brexit is in the public interest and he's a viable option for prime minister of the people while pushing for lower corporation tax and a reduction in tax for higher earners. Fucking cunt. Arsed, not assed, you fucking millennial snowflake. Edit: also this: xkcd.com/2165/ |
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Post by Shenguin on Jun 20, 2019 9:37:49 GMT
I used to sing Shit on the Vxxxx to sooth a friend's baby. In a series of strange twists, the baby has since turned into the 11 year old left behind by a previous male, the friend is now the mammal who tolerates me, and the vxxxx are still shit.
Even though I have given him express permission to say shit on the vxxxx, and I have overheard him having a discussion about the word cunt with his cousin, he's weirdly reluctant to say shit in front of me.
This morning I accidentally broke a cup and said "fucking bollocks" in front of a 4 year old. Pretty certain she's heard worse from me, and so long as she learns when she can and can't swear, I don't give a shit.
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Post by Shenguin on Jun 14, 2019 18:44:14 GMT
This week can go cunt itself. Too many early mornings and long days. Really go cunt itself. I've got 4 pints and some wine in my belly that confirms it can cunt itself.
Ask me again in a couple of hours. The week will be even more able to cunt itself by then. Cunt week.
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Post by Shenguin on May 15, 2019 18:37:57 GMT
What the fuck? Did Felice somehow think the puns were mean to him because of his football/GofT comment? I wasn't being mean to him. If I'd wanted to be mean to him, I'd have ... well, it probably wouldn't have involved a pun; what a silly cunt.
Felice, what the fuck? Did you somehow think the puns were mean to you because of your football/GofT comment? I wasn't being mean to you. If I'd wanted to be mean to you, I'd have ... well, it probably wouldn't have involved a pun, you silly cunt.
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Post by Shenguin on May 11, 2019 11:25:37 GMT
They had Farage on hignfy in the run up to the last Euro elections. And the production company put out an obviously pro-leave tweet. Cunts.
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Post by Shenguin on May 9, 2019 21:40:23 GMT
Nasty, unpleasant, old, stupid, pitiful cunt who's better off dead.
And Freddie Starr ain't no better than Sheeps.
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 27, 2019 22:43:22 GMT
I love you cunts.*
*not you.
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 22, 2019 19:38:59 GMT
Sort of a given nothing on here is intended to be taken seriously, no? Sometimes serious things raise their head and people react, luckily everyone* here is a decent person and will understand that a joke was involved *even you** **except Shenguin whom I love <edit>Though sometimes serious things are serious ftfy, you ignorant cunt. |
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 21, 2019 8:24:39 GMT
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 14, 2019 19:17:47 GMT
29% replicant, 71% cunt. Formula 1 is shit. Unexciting, contrived rules, an outmoded sport. Blade Runner 2049 is shit. Unnecessary, self-indulgent, pointless. Does anyone else have any other wrong opinions that need correcting? Finally. Some sense amongst all this tripe. You're a good man Shenguin. I vote Shenguin as new Leader. Well, that answers my question: yes, Tuffers has a wrong opinion about me. |
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 14, 2019 16:37:20 GMT
29% replicant, 71% cunt.
Formula 1 is shit. Unexciting, contrived rules, an outmoded sport.
Blade Runner 2049 is shit. Unnecessary, self-indulgent, pointless.
Does anyone else have any other wrong opinions that need correcting?
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 9, 2019 21:28:22 GMT
Tuffers, the only apology you need to make is for being such a mealy-mouthed hamster about calling me a cunt. And for inserting an extra "n" into my jumbled name. I am not a banker, btw. Edit: shit, maybe don't apologise about the "n". Maybe just ignore that I said that.
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 4, 2019 22:40:10 GMT
Games: Sekiro. Controller-breakingly difficult and infuriating but has almost got that 'just one more go' feel to it. I am currently stuck on Horse Bastard (to quote someone above) and also stuck on Ninja with Chun-Li legs Bastard, although he's only guarding something which I sprinted past him to collect to piss all over his Shinobi-killing bonfire. I still want to kill him though, the cunt. I was stuck on Big Drunk Bastard (yes, I know that could describe a few of us on here) until 7am this morning and post-dog walk mullered him before I went to work. OTTM: Sophie Turner is far too young for me. Must not look. That's quite a few pounds you owe the Shenguin jar. Sophie Turner? You monster. What the fuck? I do not have a fucking jar you cunt. |
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Post by Shenguin on Mar 30, 2019 15:02:39 GMT
Always dust then vacuum. The other way round would be madness.
I use a cordless handheld Hoover. I find the convenience of it very useful, but the suction power could be better. Mammal Who Tolerates Me has a Henry thing, but it's too heavy and awkward to bother lugging out very often. Dyson can go and fuck themselves sideways with an Airblade. Cunts.
I'll be in the Worry Tent if anyone needs me.
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Post by Shenguin on Mar 28, 2019 11:42:34 GMT
I live in a safe tory seat. Cunt voted for no deal Brexit, and against everything else last night, in contravention of the express guidance I offered him last week. I have emailed further guidance and advice to him this morning.
Didn't actually tell him to check under his fucking car before he starts the engine, but it was tempting.
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Post by Shenguin on Mar 12, 2019 1:14:34 GMT
Good morning cunts. I'm thinking about doubling down on the suggestion I made yesterday that you all visit Clifton.
It's for your own good really.
Edit: you should all visit Clifton.
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Post by Shenguin on Mar 1, 2019 21:49:09 GMT
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Post by Shenguin on Feb 27, 2019 21:53:48 GMT
For the sake of holy fuck. I can't work out who is deliberately winding me up, and who is just a thick traitor to intelligence. Stupid cunts.
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Post by Shenguin on Feb 22, 2019 9:28:49 GMT
I was going to lament that Shenguin's sweary back catalogue indicates a sad lack of vocabulary for someone with two degrees in English, but then I noticed that he doesn't just say 'cunt' all the time and on at least one occasion used 'fuckbeggar' as a supplementary, so fair play to the cunt. Fuckbeggar is a genuine early middle-ages term, and one of the first undisputed written uses of the work fuck. Every day is a patronised-by-Shenguin day. |
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Post by Shenguin on Feb 21, 2019 23:22:12 GMT
Thank you Destry My c-bomb contributions to the 'box are some of the most amusing posts I have read since, well, since I first posted them, I suppose. I will concede that my claim to have called only Sheep2 a c-bomb were somewhat misinformed by a regrettably poor memory. In my defence, some of the occasions when the c-bomb appeared in my posts, it was merely via quotation of other 'boxers. And on all of the occasions, I am fairly certain, I was drunk. Edit: also, I didn't intend the times it was about 'boxers in a mean way, except about whoever it was said they didn't like egg sandwiches. I should insist on apologising to all of you, but 1) I don't want to, and 2) you're all a bunch of cunts. |
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