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Post by Shenguin on Aug 22, 2020 23:02:17 GMT
Ah, Jesus fucking christ. Are any of you really fucking boring, have won an award for being a tedious cunt, and are visiting your wife's cousin in the South West? If so, could you please shut the fuck up and go to bed?
And try to fucking die of anything before I die of fucking boredom.
Oh god. Just fucking close your fucking mouth and stop the fucking sounds from coming out.
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Post by Shenguin on Aug 19, 2020 15:23:43 GMT
Morning Shenguin fans!
I am camping. It rains a lot.
I have a biography of Lord Rochester in my to-read pile, and it's meant to be better than the last biography of him I read. One of my favourite poems by him is the lines he wrote under a portrait of Nell Guin, which are held by some to be the filthiest poem ever written in English:
She was so exquisite a whore
That in the belly of her mother
She turned her cunt so right before
Her father fucked them both together.
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Post by Shenguin on Aug 11, 2020 8:36:58 GMT
Trumps words: "“There was an actual shooting..." Those are very oddly chosen words. I mean he's an odd guy, but it reads like: "There was an actual shooting, totally not fake news at all. This isn't a false flag distraction. This real shooter was a dangerous guy, real big, a real bigly threat. I personally arrested him. I wish him well" The description of the suspect approaching a guard and saying they had a weapon also doesn't add up. This is America. Telling someone you've got a weapon would be like telling them you're wearing shoes. So obvious it doesn't need saying. People are weird and do weird things. There could be any number of things that went on, but the description is congruent with suicide by cop. On the video, Trump says "There was a shooting" then gives a bit more detail, and then adds, "There was an actual shooting"; it sounds more like he meant that someone had been shot, rather than just a weapon discharged. If it had been any other president, I don't think his reaction would have been deemed newsworthy. He's a cunt's cunt, and I'm not defending him, but there's more relevant grounds for attacking him (whether armed with words or a gun). Perhaps one of the Trumpian problems is that the press mock and attack at any opportunity, even when his behaviour is more or less normal. It makes it look like the centrist press are trying to create a fuss and a problem out of nothing; it adds strength to the world view he and his followers promote. There are major fucking problems, but Trump's use of the word "actual" and his other verbal tics aren't where we should be focussed. |
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 28, 2020 22:57:18 GMT
The like was just for the supermarionation joke, nothing else.
Cock in beer is dirty, even if it is a cheap cunty dish.
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 25, 2020 19:38:22 GMT
I mean, yes, they seem to constantly make an active choice to be bastard cunts.
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 25, 2020 19:36:03 GMT
After this morning's shit time with bastard cunts, they then went full bastard bastard cunts for the rest of my life. One must ask, is this by choice? I guess they didn't not choose it. Bastards. |
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 25, 2020 19:05:20 GMT
After this morning's shit time with bastard cunts, they then went full bastard bastard cunts for the rest of my life.
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Post by Shenguin on Jul 17, 2020 21:41:22 GMT
Bouncy castles and trampolines should be fucking banned. As should any levity or loud children outdoors. In fact lock them up indoors until they can learn to just be bloody quiet. Middle age is hitting hard. Hi Games: Titanfall 2. I remain shit, but shit with a kd above 1, so that's fine. OTTM: The Company have decided we're getting our pay rises after all. That combined with Mrs Zord not being made redundant, I feel like an absolute shit, as 2 of my friends in the oil industry have just found out they're being binned, and a mate who works at Caterpillar is potentially on the list as well. They all have young kids, and all I've got are some cats and a collection of the finest paints. Feels bad man. It can be a big nasty world. I'm not sure how much we can do other than being kind, looking out for each other, donating what we can to charity, trying to make the world nicer, and voting for a progressive party. My girlfriend hacked my account. You cunts. |
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Post by Shenguin on Jun 22, 2020 11:04:02 GMT
Whilst it's tempting, perhaps especially in youth, to blame a generation for ones problems and to chose to be blind to the value of their cultural lynchpins, it seems ultimately misguided and counterproductive.
The world's problems aren't caused, and won't be solved, by a particular generation. Whether it's economic injustices, racism, or climate change, every generation has its victims, its dispossessed and its disempowered. What's needed is more understanding, systemic improvement, and more kindness. And quite why you bleating millennial cunts are all too thick to see that is beyond me.
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Post by Shenguin on Jun 17, 2020 19:27:37 GMT
Cunts. SOTV.
Fortnite is very difficult.
Good luck Amipal. No drinking after 6am?! Wtf?! That would be the shittest lockdown ever.
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Post by Shenguin on Jun 9, 2020 1:48:06 GMT
I'm cunting offended that you cunting expurgated some cunting words. Now I'll never cunting know what you cunting called me, you cunting cunt. And you're cunting always cunting welcome to cunting call me whatever, you cunt. |
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Post by Shenguin on May 30, 2020 20:21:00 GMT
He makes the interest as it's £50 in my Amazon account We need a super accountant to adjudicate. Jeff's a cunt. That's my adjudication. Curry order went astray on the internet. They had to be rung. It was half an hour later than planned. Worst. Thing. Ever. |
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Post by Shenguin on May 25, 2020 22:02:07 GMT
Cunts
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Post by Shenguin on May 25, 2020 8:25:36 GMT
I'd just like to congratulate Shenguin for turning up to the medal ceremony for our Fortnite Duos win. Admittedly he was in the back of a hearse, but you can't have everything. He died with about 21 left. Through jumping out of the boat and getting in an unnecessary fight. It was obviously not worth trying to rescue himso I drove off to a safer place. Managed to get into the last 3 which was 2 v 1.I was biding behind a tree due to the lack of bushes. The last team was inept at searching for me. When I had to leave the tree one of them stepped in my sights and I dispatched him. The other saw what was going on, but was not great at shooting. I dodged a bit and shot a lot and the victory screen appeared. 9 duo wins. I think I have been alive for 7. It's all true. I basically borrowed one from the J*hn T*rry book of cunt moves. I'm sorry. |
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Post by Shenguin on May 24, 2020 6:47:35 GMT
Dog was on sofa happily at 3am when I finished playing Fortnite. No wins.
By 7am the cunt dog had diarrhea all over the lounge, and the boy child who is not mine woke me up to deal with it.
Question for hive mind: should I pay to have it put down, or just do a cheap DIY job on it?
And what about the cunt dog?
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Post by Shenguin on May 24, 2020 1:27:43 GMT
Cunts*
*Not you. The Tories and Dom.
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Post by Shenguin on May 17, 2020 20:34:46 GMT
I wrote a risk strategy, a risk policy, a risk assessment, a risk briefing, and a risk protocol.
The top 5 risks are:
I didn't update the risk register
I'm a cunt
I'm not drunk enough
You're a cunt
You're too drunk. Don't drink my alcohol, you cunt.
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Post by Shenguin on May 7, 2020 16:30:47 GMT
I have been wanting to strangle people this week. I think the main purpose of my organisation is to drive me to murder. Nothing else quite explains everyone else. Bank holiday Monday on Friday tomorrow? Great, my first video-call isn't until 11am. Cunts.* *Oh. I just realised I accidentally organised it. It's my fault. I'm the cunt. Who knew? |
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Post by Shenguin on May 2, 2020 14:54:04 GMT
Killed it.
Cunts.
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Post by Shenguin on May 2, 2020 14:09:46 GMT
I can assure you I have already uttered that word several times today. |
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Post by Shenguin on May 1, 2020 20:50:17 GMT
I wasn't having a go at you Tent, just them music bean wankers. Stop bullying Tent, you cunt Tids. |
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Post by Shenguin on May 1, 2020 15:41:31 GMT
Audiophiles are the worst. Check out the coffee wankers forums - it's a close run thing. I have a 132,834 solo Fortnite wins, and a complete Bang and Olufsen audio system and Atlas power cables, networked through my entire house, including all 3 sheds, but I only drink instant coffee (fairtrade), because even I'm not that big a cunt. |
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 16, 2020 23:18:03 GMT
Fuck the dumb cunts clapping for the NHS. They're the same stupid fucking cunts who voted tory, and who get on every fucking cunt sentimental bullshit bandwagon going. When their kids' estranged cunt father died from a fucking heroin overdose, they probably had the cunt's headstone engraved wiv da angles now without any fucking irnoy.
Fuck you cunts, fuck the tory cunts, and fuck everyone. Stupid cunts.
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Post by Shenguin on Apr 10, 2020 12:41:35 GMT
It's easy to make them small-minded, scared and defensive. It's hard to foster sympathy, confidence and openness. I know, right? Twats. Absolute cunts. |
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Post by Shenguin on Mar 28, 2020 16:21:47 GMT
Christ, it's the people who are stuck in a house with kids I feel sorry for. That must be fucking horrific. Thank fuck I've always managed to avoid breeding.
CUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNT.
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